British Invasion: I have been silent long enough! First of all this Nanny 911 crap they play on TV, it really bugs me. Do we really need brits coming here telling us how to raise our children? Granted someone needs to come here and help people raise their children must it be the snotty, snobby british? Have you ever seen a kid from the UK or Europe? They are horrible and don't know how to behave, but of course we all know if you are British you must be good at raising kids because Mary Poppins is your great great grandmother. It's not that I have anything against the British I just think it's silly to pigeon hole a nation.

Maybe we're just a bunch of British rip-offs though: The weakest link, Trading Places, Queer Eye...the list goes on.

Earthquake: So the earthquake on December 26, 2005 actually shortened the day by 2.676 millionths of a second and shifted the earth's axis by 1 inch. Wow!

Hunger: I was hungry this morning. The weird thing was I was spiritually hungry. I just HAD to read my Bible and spend time with God. So I did. I try to be disciplined and read the word every day and spend some sort of time with Him and normally I do pretty good with it, my daily bread. But this morning the daily bread was not near enough, I just had to keep reading and reading and God was just speaking through his word.

I began to feel myself get full and then I ate a little more and then I ate until I became stuffed and had to stop. I leaned back after and just thought, I was so hungry and now I am full.

Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?

I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, Sir.

The top 100 High Schools List was released today. I am sad to report that Padre's school for the gifted that all of you have been contributing to did not make the list.

A Youth Pastor Gripe: We were with some great friends last night for a birthday party. Most if not all of them are youth workers with a local ministry here in town. They really are great friends and a ton of fun to be around. You have to understand me to understand my beef here. I am a pretty laid back guy, I love a good laugh and can really keep a party going. I'm not quiet at all and very confident. BUT when working with my students I am very laid back and fun loving but we never ever ever play games where we embarass students. I feel they are awkard enough with their own bodies and just don't feel right in their own skin why should I add to it. So back to my friends; they were telling me about a game they played at club on monday about an icecube that started at the beginning of the line (guy, girl, guy, girl) went down the guys shirt and pants and then passes to the next person and then up her pants and shirt...um....why don't we just have our students take off their close and touch each other inappropriately.

I'm all about games but I'm not sure games like this are achieving the concepts we want our students to learn.

Next week at youth group Free beer and live nudes!

Faithfulness is Fruitfulness:
I realize that there are instances like Jeremiah (or one of the other prophets) when they were obedient to God and his calling and still never saw results. So I know not every minister is going to be "successful". Paul even had his share of failures!

BUT my point is if a pastor says he has a calling then all of a sudden he's off limits and untouchable and unaccountable for his work ethic and results then that is a problem. Some of the laziest people I know are pastors, some of the most dishonest people I know are pastors (taking full time wages for half time work) and unfortunately I think that is the rule not the exception. We need to stop overspiritualizing. When results don't come and there is genuine effort then we can say God is in it, and he is pleased. When results never come because we are lazy then we are a tool of Satan. If you have been a pastor for 20 years and have never grown a congregation then perhaps you missed God's calling and need to go sell insurance! If people fall asleep during your sermons every week then perhaps you need to face up to it that you're not a preacher OR just not spending enough time preparing. If you don't have friends then perhaps you need to realize you're not friendly OR not willing to work on new skills.

But I blame the church. At some point we began to elevate people with lots of biblical knowledge into the pastorship not those with a shepherd's heart. Biblical knowledge makes you no more a pastor than knowing what type of car it is makes you a mechanic.

I say all this not just to get loud, not just to rock the boat but because the current system we are working in (the North American Church) is not working. You can't agrue that. The facts are clear and plain as day. But yet still we continue on the same path of mediocrity and the same ole same ole and willingly send millions to hell.

One of these days I'll stop talking and do something about it, pray for me!

Pronounce this!: I lived most of my life in Hampton Roads, Virginia. Hampton Roads isn't a city but rather a group of cities that make up the Tidewater area of Virginia. Down on the coast in Tidewater we have a certain way of saying things. For instance I grew up in Portsmouth, locals pronounce it Portsmith, others- normally know it alls like to call it PortsMOUTH, making them look silly. Well it's not only one city but several, namely Norfolk and Suffolk. It is said if you are from Hampton Roads you can pronouce those names without sounding like a moron or like you're saying a swear word.

I can't tell you how many times in my life people have asked where I grew up and I tell them Portsmouth (Portsmith) and they say you mean PortsMOUTH. Normally I put my hands in my pocket so as not to smack them. I'm from there, I'll tell you how it's pronounced!

MTV: Alert! This morning on MTV...I saw a music video!

What are we doing?: I know the church is good intentioned. I really think many pastors are doing there best but sometimes I just wake up and think, or sometimes it's brought about by conversations and I just wonder...What are we doing? and when we figure that out maybe we'll figure out what we are doing isn't working.

I have pretty much decided that the next person I hear "yeah we just need to remain faith and get back to..." at about the "get back to..." part I'm going to smack them right in the head. I sure they are good intentioned but if we open our eyes for 30 seconds we will see what "we" (the North American Church) is doing is not working. We aren't even reaching our own children. We are the 3rd largest mission field in the world. So I'm not sure we need to get BACK to anything we need to get moving and at least try something new.

My father once gave me a tiny piece of paper that had a quote from Theodore Roosevelt:

Far better is it to dare many things and win glorious triumphs than to live in the gray twilight where one does not suffer much nor accomplish much.

Vast Knowledge: I really thought that college would be the pinnacle of my learning experience. I’m not sure what kind of cheap crack I was smoking in college but I really thought I was a fart smeller, um…I mean smart feller. I guess I thought that would be it, I would learn those 16 years, 12 of public school and then 4 of college and I’d apply what I learned the rest of my life. Well that would have really been boring. I have learned so much in the past 4 years since getting out of college and I know that the learning has only just begun. It’s exciting to be growing; it’s exciting to learn applicable stuff.

Butt Crack: Hey girl in the bagel shop that sat two tables in front of me this morning. PULL YOUR PANTS UP no one, I repeat no one wants to see your butt crack.

Gross Coffee: Yesterday I was at a meeting and now bear in mind that I’m no coffee connoisseur but I do enjoy a good cup. Coupled with that fact and the fact that you don’t need to be a genius to know nasty coffee when you drink it. So yesterday I was at a meeting and thought a little java would be a nice treat so I poured myself a cup added the desired cream and sugar and went back to my seat at the table. I put the hot coffee to my lips and took a sip…ass coffee. Now I’m not kidding. It repulsed me. I really think that they took the water poured it over a big hairy ass and then put it in the coffee maker. I didn’t want to be rude because the coffee maker person was at the table so I thought I’d better drink it. So I did and loathed every minute of it. I almost yacked twice. Ass coffee, never recommended!

Finished: I finished Traveling Mercies. I have heard for years that the book is worth the read and I must say I was NOT disappointed. If you're looking for a pat you on the back Jesus book then this book is not for you. If you're looking for someone who grapples and struggles with life, faith, spirituality and even Jesus then this book is for you. It restored in me the idea of messiness in our lives. The idea that like in Luke 7 the woman who washes Jesus' feet with her hair then Simon the Pharisee starts to question Jesus integrity and holiness. So Jesus asks "if you forgive a $5 debt and a $5000 debt who has more to be thankful for" Duh Simon says the one who had $5000 forgiven and then Simon just shut up. He realized that those in need of a savior, I mean desperately in need (isn't this all of us) recognize the love of their savior than those that lead a "good" life.

Sometimes I think we're so "sin-free" that we really think we can save ourselves. Sure we don't say that or tell people that but I think deeeeeep down inside we really think it and then we sin against the cross because we are trying to be self suficient.

Anyone want a cat?

Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott: I've heard about this book for sometime and I've even owned it since the winter and I am just now getting around to reading it. I do that, I'll buy a ton of books at one time and then just kind of let the current book I'm reading decide what comes next. Normally the books are different enough to keep me interested and diverse but similar enough so that the books seem to be one cohesive conversation. I digress.

This is perhaps the most raw, authentic, real author I've ever read. The refreshing thing is I don't think she is capable of being any different. I'm only 100 pages in but I can tell you already I'm glad I picked this one up. Simply a narrative of her journey into spirituality and what she calls Christianism, well her friends not her. Anne defends herself by saying she's a christian just not a very good one.

Amen to that!

Not Needed: So we just got back from our annual District Youth Retreat. Really the year hinges on this retreat, it is often used as a launching pad for the summer and then the next year. I don't mean to put too much value on it but it really does serve as a major event.

So the "come down" off retreat is always hard and always so drastic for my students. This year they didn't quite get into retreat like they have before one reason because they are getting older and the second is that it is mainly the same thing they do every year. So last night I prepared my message to help them out. To help them realize that it starts with retreat and continues with themselves the rest of the year.

Before I even started I heard a guys conversation with a group of guys about starting a student led bible study and a girls conversation with a group of girls about a girls accountability group. I was so stoked. After they heard my message I could tell they were relieved. Relieved that they were wacky for not "feeling" it and relieved that they had a group that was dedicated to growth year round.

Now the hard step putting it into action. But hey if that's all this youth pastor has to do, help soem student led stuff keep moving them I'm all over that like stink on a buffalo fart. I think I'm working myself out of a job, GOOD!

big thugin' 

A Journey: My friend Tim and I were talking the other day on our way home from Retreat. My friendship with Tim has been so unique because we literally have journeyed together from the conservative stance of our denomination to what I would label (with the Help of Brian McLaren) Post-Conservative. Riding in the car Tim said "Nick, I think we're crazy". You have to understand that our conversation generally consists of ranting about the church of america today and our longing for something more, something more unique, something more genuine. I replied "I think you're right, but is that a bad thing?". As we carried on we realized that we first became friends when we were still good denominational boys and now we feel as if we have a secret to keep, an emerging secret. (yeah that's corny I know)

I encouraged Tim and Tim encouraged me to continue on in our quest. There is much right about it. We had to recognize and I think we both made a committment to stick to our denomination as best we can. But we have had to face the stark reality that in order to get anywhere for the kingdom we may have to leave what we have always known in the C&MA. I think we both genuinely hope and pray against that but have had to face that it may happen one day.

So what's so great about Tim is that he listens. When I go wacko and share some heretical view he asks me questions that makes me think. He speaks his mind and he learns and teaches. I value our time, I wish I could keep him with me no matter where I go because everyone needs someone like that. He has such a great 3rd person point of view. Being out of active church ministry and into para-church camping ministry he's fresh. He says he respects me for being able to be constructively critical of the church while still in it, I say I respect him for being able to call it quits.

I know secretly he hopes to get back into full time church ministry. He love people, mainly the lost, he loves God, I hope that God gives him the desires of his heart. God has blessed me, he has stirred me, he works in me. How blessed we are!

Writing: Posting has been hard lately between being busy with work and then with my hands full at home I have missed posting. It's not that I have a ton of readers but that I love to write and I think writing helps me out more than it will ever help anyone else out.

Writing helps me understand and recognize more of the earth's beauty. It helps me understand grace and God's love. It helps me stop and realize things that I normally miss. I guess I need to make it a priority.

My son: Every morning I get up with him between 6 and 7. We sit on the couch together, have coffee (he likes his heavy cream), check the email, smile at each other, just normal morning stuff. It's pretty routine but with a baby smiling for the first times in his life none of that is routine. Yesterday I was holding him and I looked down and...felt such a wave of emotion. It's not that I'm thick headed but I realized once again that I had a hand in "creating" this baby. It was such and awe inspiring time. He is mine in the purest sense of the word. He is my child, I love him with a love that is not generated but that is inherent. It was such a wonderful feeling.

Ghetto Mart: I was in Wal-Mart yesterday and there was an unhappy customer. The culprit was a older teen/young adult. An older employee came up and was reassuring the customer that he would take care of it and make her happy. Well the disgruntled customer left and the next customer, with her teen daughter in tow, said to the older employee "it's just this generation, they don't know good manners or customer service." Her attitude was harsh and "know-it-all". I looked at her, looked at the older employee, looked at the teenage daughter and almost said out loud. You're the one that raised this generation so in reality it's you and your generations fault.

I hear that alot, adults complaining about teenagers and young adults...when in reality the one who could change or have prevented it is...them.

Cheering: the origins of this thought I can't claim as my own but the illustration of it yesterday was too much to overlook. My wife and I went to a Nationals game, which I was totally stoked about and was just excited to be there no matter the outcome. The game went by with only 1 run scored and into the ninth inning. Throughout the game it kept hitting me how neat is was that 30k people would chant the same thing or all yell "GUUUUUUUZZZman" when he came up to bat.

so back to the 9th inning...Nat's are up 1-0 Braves have the bases loaded and no outs. Crowd begins to cheer, batter strikes out, crowd continues cheers every pitch brings a roar, batter strikes out, two outs bases loaded and if we get the next out the game is over we win. Batter hits the next pitch to the short stop who fields the ball cleanly but throw the ball into the dirt at first base, two runner score.

the crowd never grew silent or turned on their team they still cheered and in fact cheered louder. People are created to cheer, something about it was exhilirating, it was amazing to cheer with so many other people. Isn't that what worship is like? People are created to cheer, people are created to worship.

It was great, now I can't wait to worship with 30k people.

Guess what America?: So no more than 8 hours after the new pope is chosen American Catholics start gripin' about him and what he's going to stand for. He's too conservative, I'm afraid he's not going to connect with the younger catholics, blah, blah, blah.

Guess what? the other 94% of Catholics apparently don't care about what you think (or the Cardinals at least)! I think it's funny us living in a democratic society where "every american has a voice" that this time...America really didn't have a voice. Don't take this for anti-american rhetoric, I'm grateful I live in america and have freedom I just think we're too used to not recognizing authority and according to catholics now they must listen to this authority!

Lots of Mickey's. 

McLaren: I'm reading A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren. I tried to read the book about 2 months ago but I guess the time was just not right. So I joined a reading group so I'd have some accountability in reading the book. I'm glad I've gotten into it and at about half way through I am really enjoying the read. Nothing he states is terribly theologically thrilling or baffling but he articulates well the beliefs of...himself and I'm sure countless others.

The problem I am finding in some arenas of thought these days is the lack of being able to define just about anything. It is at time frustrating and if this is what the emergent church is going to be like it's not going to be very popular. Which is probably a good thing. I am fine with living without all the answers and living in community with those I may not always agree with but I feel something inside me tells me there must be something that can be defined.

Mickey gave me a whoopin! 

Some of my closest friends asked me a question yesterday, here is my response to it.

What an amazing question "what does a dad feel when he looks at his child"?

It's not a hard question to answer just one that is hard to describe. I sincerely hope that all of you get to experience it in your life. When Nathan was born all covered in amniotic fluid and smelling pretty funky, he was all bloody, red from crying, his hands and feet were grey and I looked at him...and I cried. Despite all of those things, unattractive things he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in the world. For a split second I had a rush of panic; the baby I knew only from seeing him in Heather's belly was here and I was supposed to know him, but I didn't.

We moved to the nursery with Nathan and I was there. I would put my hand on his chest and I knew he remembered my voice and he knew that my hand was one of love. As the days went on I realized that this baby I was supposed to know I really did know because he was my son, the strongest bond on the planet; Parent to Child.

Now when I hold Nathan I experience such a myriad of emotions. Sometimes I just look at him and wonder how someone as messed up like me could have made something so wonderful. I look at him with love that is as unconditional as any love I can fathom...on this planet anyway. I wonder when he'll take his first step, say his first word, go to school, kiss a girl, get married and start a family all of his own. Sometimes I'm afraid because of the big ugly world we live in. I have to teach him to be in the world but not teach him to run from it. I have to teach him to do what is right. I have to teach him about Christ and a relationship with him. I have to teach him to love others and serve others.

It's the most wonderful experience in the world!

What's that in the second row?

Revival: My church hosted a "revival" weekend this weekend and it will be wrapping up this morning. As I sat in the service last night and I looked around one thing continued to strike me and I know it has struck my friends in the ministry as well. My Generation is missing. A whole big ole' group from the age of 18-35 just is not there. The evangelist seemed to be a very nice genuine man. But as he spoke I thought to myself "My generation will not tolerate this" We will not tolerate looking back and saying "we just have to get back to the good ole days" and I think there are two reason for that 1) we don't remember the 'good ole days' and 2) were not convinced they actually existed but are rather a figment of their imagination.

It's no surprise or shocking discovery that my generation is not in church and I don't mean to sound to negative but I'm not sure we're ever going to see them "in church". I think we will see them be the church in house churches, home groups, studies at Panera and Starbucks. I think we will see us rally around a cause of Jesus not the church, because we have lost faith in the institution we call church but have found faith in Jesus.

So I'm left with the question: How does on encourage this organic growth? How does one pastor these people? Does one pastor? Do they need a pastor? Will they reject the pastor as they have the institution of the church?

I hope not, because in the end...I'm one of them!

GNOMZ: Someone showed me a cool website where you can make your own comics. I thought that would be fun so I gave it a whirl. This one is my favorite "Does this make me look fat?"

Teenagers: it becomes increasingly frightening to me how much teenagers are asked to handle. They are asked to deal with smoking, drugs, drinking, sex, relationships, career choices, getting good grades, keeping families together...the list goes on and on. I guess my point is that with my most recent studies I have discovered or been reminded how immature the teenage brain is and how much they still need to develop. In essence they are not mentally prepared to deal with this sort of pressue instead they find out about their parent's divorce, are treated like pawns to gain power over the other spouse, verbally abused. Parent's are destroying their teenagers lives, teens don't need any help doing that. They need help, just not that kind.

great book 

number one, because it started it all 

number two 

number three in top five books of all time 

National Pro-Life T-Shirt Day: I normally don't do this sort of thing but for some reason it seems important to me. Probably because my newborn son is a little over a month old.

Numbers: Countless people in the world can call me stranger, a 150 call me Pastor, a 100 call me friend, 25 call me good friend, 4 call me grandson, 2 call me son-in-law, 2 call me son, 2 call me brother, 2 call me uncle, 1 calls me best friend, 1 calls me dad (he can't talk yet but I'm told he will), and 1 calls me husband. That thought changed me outlook on life today!

Sandra Bullock: My wife and I went out and saw her new movie Miss Congeniality 2. Dont' make fun of me. Sandra Bullock is a fun loving actress but this was not her best work. They made her character to snotty and unlikeable for too long of the movie. Besides it was a chick flick, that's seldom good.

March Madness: is about to turn into the Championship game. After starting slow in all 3 of my brackets I can now points two first places and a second place. It looks like I'll win at least one of those brackets and have a good shot at the other to. Whooo-hooo.

Emergent:
Spencer Burke wrote a book or rather compiled thoughts from his website www.theooze.com. He says he originally called the book "more than coffee and candles". I remember thinking originally how in the world can someone confuse such a radical thought such as emergent church with merely lighting a few candles and serving coffee. Then I walked into my local christian book store and say how.

They had a full corner display dedicated to "the emergent church" they even have an emergent Bible now...whatever that is. So now this thing I had hope in of revolutionizing the church because like Reggie McNeal states I believe this church our way of doing church is on lifesupport and that unless there is a radical change of not just how we do things but what we do the church will die. Not the church of Jesus Christ...that church is good and will make it until Christ returns but our way of doing church.

So now that Emergent is popular I wonder what will separate the "style" emergent with the mindset emergent. Because styles change from year to year but the mindset seems to be the one of the culture that we are attempting to adjust to. Lighting a few candles is a style change, changing the mindset goes much deeper and is much more...scary. I think we will find in the next years or perhaps the next decade most pastors are going to be ready to undergo style change if only for the reason to stay up on the trents, very few will be willing to go to the style change which requires a paradigm shift from shepherd to gardner from teacher to student from advice giver to one who live in community with his people. There will still be a need for a leader in the emergent church but his/her role will be drastically different.

more to come...

Every morning Sometimes you can't make it on your own comes on VH1...what a treat!

The Passion: Last night we had a viewing of The Passion of the Christ. It still remains the most powerful movie I have ever seen. What amazes me is the people who have never seen it and their reaction when they watch the movie. It was good for me this easter season to walk the journey, or rather watch the journey that Christ had to endure to save our souls.

Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice;
You became nothing, pour out to death.
Many times I've wondered at Your gift of life,
And I'm in that place once again,And I'm in that place once again.

And once again I look upon the cross where You died,
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside.
Once again I thank You,Once again I pour out my life.

Now You are exalted to the highest place;
King of heavens, where one day I'll bow.
But for now, I marvel at this saving grace,
And I'm full of praise once again,
And I'm full of praise once again.

Oh Chewie...why don't you wear clothes? 

Finger Chili: Man you hear about this in urban legends but never did I think it would be true! After you're done puking wipe off your screen and get back to work!

So what's going on today?:
The school shooter thing has gotten me thinking. It's really not something you plan for and when it happens you either want to start pointing the finger at who is to blame, besides the shooter, or you just want it to go away and let the kids get back to being kids. Teenagers seem to live in the current, not yesterday or tomorrow concerns them but just today. When something like this happens it forces them to look backwards and forwards, but they still want to get back to living for the present.

For some reason I'm finding myself sympathetic towards the shooter. Which sounds crazy seeing as he destroyed the lives of 9 people and their families. I guess he needed something this world or people who came in contact with him didn't or couldn't offer.

Poor Terri Schiavo. Frankly I'm not sure anyone is really looking out for her, possibly her parent's but even them I'm not sure. I heard a report this morning that in 1992 when the malpractice suits were being awarded her parent's found at that they would be receiving no money this is when their demeanor toward Mike changed. Up until then they were friendly, they reported that Mike was a loving husband and they even lived together at one point. The money went to Mike and then they began to oppose him and even said "I'm going to make your life a living hell."

BUT...what can you believe?

Regardless there is a woman starving to death and I'm eating peanut butter toast...so caloused!

problems 

Terri Schiavo: It's disturbing to know that this woman is starving to death and we have all the technology in the world to help her. I wish we knew the truth about her mental ability and if indeed her brain is still functioning. I think we will never know the full story.

This is the album cover is from a band from the '70's(I think) called the tubes. The album is called remote control and they were using it to powerfully illustrate the point that the tv is not a babysitter but many american families use it as such.  

Hostage: Saw the movie Hostage this afternoon. I had only one question as I was walking out of the movie...Could they have used use the F word one more time? Focus on the Family counted the f word 60 times and the s word 40...the good news was you didn't notice the s word because of so many f words.

Take all of the Diehards throw em together add a little unbreakable and viola' you've got hostage. The plot had a neat twist when some petty criminals "accidentally" get involved with some mafia men. Bruce the ultimate hostage negotiator gets involved when his family is kidnapped in exchange for something the petty criminals have in their held-up house.

In the end the bad guys get what's coming to them and all the good guys live. Worth the $6.50!

Easter: It is my intention this year to give my students some real passion and hope regarding Easter. Too often we just kind of get to good friday, we remember Christ's death which is incredibly powerful and important but then we forget that on Sunday he rose.

Saturday Morning

TV: You know the best time to watch tv is early morning. It honestly is. There is decent programming and stuff you don't get to see on a regular basis...like comedy on comedy central, music videos on MTV and VH1...simply amazing.

PPT Backgrounds: Here are some excellent powerpoint backgrounds, as far as I can tell and up till now they are completely free and work excellent.

Name Badges and Lanyards: Lanyards and name tags are always hard to find and you can spend a ton of money buying them. Here is the best place I've found and they are a great and prompt company. We use these every year for our District Youth Retreat (product #'s badge holder - 1555/lanyard - 4403/paper - 2900-w-5). Thought I'd spread the wealth.

Aron Ralston Story: I saw this guys story on a tv special. Short version: he's hiking and going through a canyon, a boulder slips and pins his arm between the boulder and the canyon wall. He has only a little gear a camcorder and a pocket knife. For 5 days he records his last will and goodbyes...finally he puts the pocket knife to good use and...cuts off his arm. I bought the book and I'll start reading it soon.

Seriously: I think...well it goes beyond thinking. I'm pretty sure...that's not much more decisive now is it? I am positive that youth pastors take themselves too seriously. We act as if we are the only one's that can effectively minister to youth. It's quite sad really because I think either by our words, actions or telepathically we teach students that the rest of the church has nothing to teach them and that they are this "special cause" that requires special care.

But I ramble on...Give the students love, Be the conduit of Jesus Christ's love, Tell them about the salvation he offers...don't overcomplicate it.

Keep the main thing the main thing!

A youth pastor to his students:

It is with great love and favor I write to you now. I have been with you for three years now and some of you have proven yourselves faithful to not only me and the ministry but to the gospel of Jesus Christ. We may do all things for ourselves and gain nothing but anything we do in Jesus Christ is considered gain for our future. Not always a future of this world but of the world to come; that is eternal life.

I write you with love but I must also admit that I write to you with a heavy heart. I know that each of you has entrusted your life to Jesus Christ and have made him Lord of you life but my fear is and what you have proven by your actions is that you merely gave him lip service and did not or do not intend to act on this decision.

Serving Jesus Christ and asking him to be Lord of your life is no joking matter. But Jesus will not take by force what he rightfully could. Instead Christ is a gentleman, he stands at the door and knocks but does not barge the door down. The door of your heart is seldom open to him. I know that this inconsistency sometimes frustrates you and causes you to be downtrodden. But take heart and know that you are not alone. Never once have you heard from me that this journey in our salvation would be easy, I warned you of the trouble and turmoil that would come. But when that trouble and turmoil did come it came disguised as selfishness, greed, lust, laziness and division. It was not the massive frontal attack at the gates that conquered you, you stood up to those well and for that you are to be commended. Instead it was the sneak attack that brought you to the wretched place you are now.

I call it such a wretched place let me explain. Before you knew Christ and the power of his salvation and the joy of living in him you were slaves to sin. You were useless to Christ. Then you began a relationship with Him and you were restored and useful to Christ. But you took that knowledge and instead of letting it penetrate your heart you just stored it in your head where it became jaded and sour. So now once again because of your actions you are useless to Christ, not because you are not valuable to him but because you have taken yourself out of the race.

You have taken such a valuable and honored thing, salvation, and have deemed it worthless in your life. You can deny with your words but your actions prove what you deem valuable. It is not with reprimand that I write this letter to you but with pain and hurt. Not pain and hurt that you have bestowed on me but on the pain and hurt I see in your lives and yet you keep covering it up with more pain and hurt. Pain and hurt piled on pain and hurt never heals but keeps you searching for something…that will destroy you.

There are those that need to be encouraged. Be encouraged if you are still running the race in faithfulness to Christ. You are working out your salvation, offering yourself as a living sacrifice and changing the lives of other. Don’t be dismayed. It may seem that no one notices but your heavenly father notices you’re striving and he is pleased! He is saving a place for you in heaven and he looks forward to you seeing him.

So I encourage you students to examine yourself. Are you acting worthy of the salvation given to you by the sacrifice of Christ Jesus? Have you counted the cost that Jesus took for you? Are you willing to count the cost that Christ asks you for? Be hot, be cold, don’t be lukewarm!

With all the love of Christ Jesus, Nick

Two Quotes; one from a stranger another from a friend

Quoted by Roy Lessin:
He is not the God of the "half-empty" or "half-full" in our lives. He is the God of the "exceeding abundantly above all we could ask or think." His will for us is not just "joy" but "great joy".... not just "peace" but the "peace that passes understanding" ... not just "love" but "fullness of love"...not just to be a "conqueror" but to be "more than a conqueror." When He fills our cup, it is overflowing; when He flows through us, it is as rivers of living water; when He meets a need, He does it out of the riches that are in Christ.

Friend: this is the gut level of where i'm at now spiritually. i don't read the word, pray, or give like i've been told i should. do you know what i do...i think, struggle, mourn, serve, and seek oportunities to help and love. my theology is not orthadox any more. but it isn't a product of a fad. it is what it is...mine.

Good vs. Evil: In the March/April 2005 YouthWorker Journal Brian McLaren writes and article that piqued my interest. There is a point that I would like to expound on and to be honest I'm not sure if this is what he meant or not but it is where my mind took me.

I often hear people say "God is not republican" or "God is not calvanist" or something to that matter. Generally people are correct in these statements. God is not defined by a word rather people, normally believers have constructed a viewpoint and set of beliefs and preferences that they say God stands for. These people are probably mostly right, or at least not wrong in their assumption of these beliefs. They have contructed a moral code to live by, which I know is not easy to contruct much less live by. I commend them and I don't have a problem with this.

What I do have a problem with is that this moral code becomes the conduit of salvation not the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Morals get you to heaven no faster than roller skates. So what's the problem?

Rather than present the salvation of Jesus Christ to our friends and aquaintances we present them a moral code and lifestyle. We are so used to deeming things right/wrong, black/white, godly/sin that we start to label people with this same. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying there is not such thing as right or wrong or that it's not important. I'm saying that we are not judged our worth in God's eyes by what we do right and wrong we instead are judged by only one thing FAITH in Jesus Christ. So rather than sweat the right and wrong politics of moral codes let's see people for what they are and for what we all need.

Steroids

Congress: Why again is there a congressional hearing on steroids and Major League Baseball? Why does congress care and if they should care why do they have a say in the matter?

Cynical

Doctor Sense: So how long should we refrain from taking the baby out in public? Well at least two months you don't want to take him anywhere there might be germs than lead to illness. You mean like the Doctor's office?

how bout this?

Random

Nathan: When do you know it's time for your baby's first bath? When you can't stand to hold him because he smells like rotten milk. Poor little guy!

Learning: I think I have figured out that I do not want to be lectured to but rather I want to be involved in interactive learning. I wonder if others are like this?

Stupid People

Loss of one: I just watched Timeline (the movie) again for the third time. I like the movie probably because I like the time period and I like the fact that my wife will watch it with me. It's not a great movie but it is a good movie, I guess good enough to watch three times. I have a problem with movies that do one thing. Generally the plot goes like this. One person is in need of rescue or help. They are in a perilious place and then need to be saved. One person or a group of heroes, several reluctant people, one fool, and a jokster all agree to the quest. Now keep in mind the make up of the group can vary but will remain mostly the same as I noted above. Now they go on the rescue thinking it will be quick and they will get back real fast. As fate would have it, or holywood depending on how romantic you're feeling on this day, most of the rescue party dies.

Now what kind of sense does this make. The person is in a near impossible place to be rescued and the party is formed and most people in the party die except one or two heroes and the person being rescued. Wouldn't it be smarter to just count the person needing rescued as a loss and save all those other lives. Normally the person needing rescued made a stupid decision to be there in the first place...don't they deserve to die and not the people with good intentions. Of course that doesn't make for good movies and sounds harsh. I know what you're thinking, don't get lost in the woods on Nick's camping trip he won't come rescue you. No, I'm better than that.

Wanna go camping?

Cerda's Theory of Self-limiting Success

Part two: I was talking to my Dad today and he was telling me about excellent men in history and their success. He was telling me about his dream of a certain society where all people are given the same opportunity and there is no crime. He was telling me about how he wanted to write a book on this and who his real life fiction characters would be.

I then told him about my theory of self limiting success. It seems that we have concluded that people that are successful, incredibly, somehow figure out how to shut down the self-limiting feature that seems to be ingrained in humans.

Words from a friend

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle

God will hold you accountable to His word and the convictions he puts on your heart. you see many flaws and walls built by the church in the name of Christ that are not of Him. stand up and expose them like a prophet of old when the Lord grants you the opportunity. in between the opportunities figure out some way to love them and hate the ties that bind them at the same time while all the time being teachable and Spirit lead. Aristotle said, "it is a mark of an educated man that they are able to entertain dangerous ideas without embracing them." (paraphrase). What a strength the Lord gives us when He says, "to the pure all things are pure". that's what i'm working on.

Thanks Nate!

Almost there

Theory: I have a theory. To my knowledge this is my theory and mine alone, I am the first to think of it therefore it this gets public (not likely considering the 3.4 people who read my blog) then I want credit for it. Here it goes.

Ever watch a minor league or pro baseball game? Count the number of fly balls that make it to the last 15 feet of the field but fail to go over. Count the number of homeruns that stay within 15 feet of the outfield fence. Put a player on a field that is 300ft and they will hit the ball just as close to the fence as in a field that is 320ft.

Every watch college basketball? Regular season games it's not unlikely for two great teams to play each other and blow the other team out by 20 pts. It's also not unlikely for the underdog team to get romped on by the better team. Bring on the championship games and tournaments. Any team is in it! What's more? The score will almost always be close no matter how unevenly matched the teams are.

So here's my theory. Sure some will say that the underdog team is just playing better than normal and the better team is playing worse than ususal. I can buy that sometimes but this happens far to often for it to be explained away like that. I think with the homeruns and with college basketball there is something in the brain or perception that limits a person. It seems like those that are great or do great things have figured out how to put down that limiter in thier minds and excel. I guess when I get famous for this theory I want it to be called Cerda's Theory of Self-Limiting Success.

Rocky II

Rock: Rock desides he wants to stop fighting. One because his right eye has bad vision in it and as a southpaw he's very dependant on seeing the swings from right handed fighters with that eye. So in his love for his wife wants to provide for her and he wants a good desk job. Problem is he only finished the 9th grade in high school and "don't read so good". So noone will hire him at a desk job. Instead he gets a week to week job at a meat packing plant but despite his hard work he gets laid off cuz of cut backs.

Rock is stuck, his love is boxing but that's no good so he wants to do what he thinks he should do and that's get a job but no one is hiring. What he has a passion for he doesn't have the skills for, boxing!

I think sometimes we want to do our passion but we don't have the skills.

Teaching Schedule

It's Time: I've been struggling sometime now as far as what direction I want to go regarding teaching my students. We are a solid group of young believers with good direction and a pretty strong passion for growth in their relationships with Jesus Christ...sometimes. I love my students and expect great things from them and at the same time I want to give them expectations and have expectations of them that they can achieve. I know there will be times that I am disappointed in them but I want to always love them and I want them to know I am proud of them.

Normally I teach my students what God is teaching me. Lately God has been teaching me about my conception of church, being a believer, and what Jesus expects from me as his follower (as found in scripture). Frankly some of what goes through my head and what I am positive God is teaching me will not be smiled upon from my church. I don't think these thoughts are radical, but they are different...diametrically opposed in fact. If I teach this stuff, this truth, it's not going to go over well. It is going to cause tension, problems, and conflict.

So what's a guy going to do? Well I'll tell you what this guy is going to do. I'm going to go for it. I want to press on in what I am called to. I'm going to equip these young disciples the best I can and I am going to prepare them for the church I know will be here tomorrow not the one that is dying today.

God be with me?
God be with me!

simon says?

Big scary world

We brought Nathan home from the hospital today. He was there in his little carseat oblivious to the world and then it hit me that yeah this was my little son and I needed to care for him. Almost overwhelming but then again quite inspiring!

Sports

Nationals: I caught a little bit of the Nationals game while sitting in the hospital with Heather and Nathan. It was nice to see them play and even better to see a win! I have a problem with their uniforms. I bought the official cap that has a "W" on it. I like that. Their uniforms have a DC on it kind of intertwined. I like that. The only problem is no where is an N or Nationals. I'm sure regular season stuff will be different but I think they need something that has their name not just where they are from.

March Madness: One of my favorite sports events of the year. Filling out a bracket is always fun even though since I started following college basketball more (the past 5 years or so) my bracket skills have gotten worse. Go figure.

Nathan Douglas 

A year

March 3, 2004: Last year on March 3 I did the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. It was absolutely horrible but somewhere in that tragedy God gave me the eyes to see his grace and to see light in such an incredibly hard situation. I put hope in Jesus Christ and although I knew life would never be the same I knew it would go on and with the grace of God would even be good.

March 3, 2005: Exactly one year to the day of the above said event I experienced the most wonderful day of my life. Last night at 9:38pm my son, my first child Nathan Douglas was born. When I first saw him in the doctor's hands the only thing I could do was cry. Not only was he my son but he was the fulfillment of the promise God had given me a year before during such tragedy. As I touched Nathan, it was so surreal. I've tried twice now to find the words to describe the joy that I need to describe touching and holding my son, and I can't. All I know is that I cried more than he did. Simply the greatest day of my life!

Values

Actions: We do what we value not what we say we believe. That is perhaps the most life changing statement I have every heard. Another way to put is your actions show what you really think is important.

If we take a cross section of our average day I think it would be clear that I value relationships. But relationship for what? Am I doing anything with these relationships or really just using them to make me feel better about life and self worth?

I value watching tv, I sure do enough of it.
I value my wife and spending time with her.
I value...
I value...

We do what we value not what we say we believe.

Baby I got your money

Offering: It is not my desire to use this blog and my brief writings and rantings to take a subject I was in conversation with and then come here and ‘tell you want I really think’ I think that would be wrong and disrespectful to my friends and those I converse with.

Let me get you on my train of thought. I was talking to my best friend JB last night and he was telling me about his future and how he and his wife are expecting to go to Russia this fall. I was asking him about support and how I could help him out financially. Then a few days ago I think I was either talking to a family member or a friend and they were talking about giving to missions and other Christian charitable organizations. During that conversation they were telling me their frustrations with people taking out of their ‘tithe’ check monies for missions. Giving for missions, in their mind, should be above and beyond what they normally give to the church. At the time I heard these words I felt in my heart I disagree but either decided it wasn’t a battle I wanted to fight or didn’t quite know what I would say in rebuttal I just knew I didn’t agree.

So this morning I was writing my offering check. I designated about 2/3 of it straight to operating expenses of the church and the other 1/3 to foreign missions and home missions (church planting). I really believe in these two efforts. As I designated on the envelope I wondered what people would say if they knew I wasn’t giving my full 10% to the church. So it got my thinking why I give, what I give to certain places and am I OK to be doing it this way.

God has called me to give my time and efforts to expanding his kingdom. I must admit that the kingdom I am trying to expand often is more confusing than helping. Lately my heart has been broken for peoples in third world situations such as AIDS, tsunami and the Dalit’s of India (see below post). I believe that there is great potential in these people and I want to see them experience a relationship with Jesus Christ. Right now my best way to help is with my money.

Maybe I should answer this question first. Why am I not giving the full amount to my local church body? I think the short answer is…This church is about the discipleship and nurturing of current believers. I think that is a very valid and necessary ministry. I also believe it is about ½ of the spectrum of ministry we should be involved in. My heart and passions lie with the unchurched and those who don’t know Christ.

It was good to think through this and made me feel a little less like a bad man!

OH man!

Waiting: My wife is officially past her due date for our little boy. Geez the waiting is killing me. I'm told a baby is worth the wait so that makes waiting more tolerable.

Say it don't pray it

I posted this yesterday but blogger kept asking me to login so the post never made it.

Preachers: When I prepare a message, sermon or lesson for my students or the church I feel that what I am talking about is important and really want them to get what I'm talking about. I believe in what I talk about and I believe it can change their lives for the better.

But when I preach and when I hear others preach often they don't get the point across as strongly as they want to or sometimes they just fail miserably. Rather than just take the fall count their losses, pack their Bibles and leave the pulpit they do the miserable. They pray. Now I love prayer and I think it is such a wonderful gift that God has blessed us with. I believe in the power of prayer. But when a message is miserable preaching the message again in the prayer is not recommended. God already heard your message, he unlike the congregation was paying attention and heard every word. His life doesn't need to be changed, he's already perfect.

Bottom line: don't pray your messages, hold the value of prayer higher than that!

Today

I confessed to my friend Steve this morning that I was having a hard time not getting stressed out. I also told him that I was putting emotions about one item into the arena of another and that was not fair. I have been stressed lately and having a hard time trusting God. I say I trust him, I know he is trust worthy but my actions have not been matching my words.

This morning I spent a brief time in the word and just left feeling like I had fulfilled an obligation not connected with JEHOVAH. So I went to a book I have and the devotion was on trusting God with all things and being content in trusting him. As I read those very words the cd player says “I will give you all my worship”.

I had to say God I will give you all…as worship.

He’s worth it, He’s trust worthy!

Actions, Start acting right!

Bobble Head Jesus in all his...boredom!

Tonight's Message

Message: I'm talking about the Clay cups I mentioned at the beginning of the month tonight. I know it will be impacting to the students. Not because of my but because they have hearts of gold and want to serve and help others.

Below is the message:

The Story: India is the largest democracy in the world. This means that they boat of having a government where not only are all people created equal but they all get an equal say in elections. One would think this would be a wonderful place to live. All men are equal, no racism, no prejudices, just all people equal.

The truth of the matter is that long ago the priest of the religion of Hindu set up a caste system. If you don’t know what a caste system is think of it like a pecking order. Kind of like high school, seniors are the best and can do anything they want; juniors are still cool but just need to listen to the seniors. Sophomores really just need to keep quiet unless they are liked by the juniors and seniors. Freshman are just punks but still tolerable.

In India there are 4 classes of people or castes. There is nothing you can do to change castes or status you are merely born into a caste and you will die of that same caste. This isn’t such a bad thing if you are in one of the top castes but if you are of a lower you are stuck.

I said the Priests set up this caste system thousands of years ago. Which caste do you think is the highest caste? Brahmins or priest. Next comes the Kshatriyas: soldiers and administrators. Then the Vaisyas: the commercial class and then the last the Sudras: the farmers and peasants.

Being of the lowest caste is pretty rough life. People ignore you, think you are white trash; you are prejudiced against just for being born poor. I have a horrifying thing to tell you. There is a caste lower that the lowest class. These people aren’t even considered good enough to be of a caste. They are called Dalits. Dalits means “broken to pieces” “outcaste” and “untouchable”. Another meaning of the word is “mistake to be born”. The rest of the nation treats these people as if they are mistakes to society, they are as good as never born. These people rank in treatment lower than animals.

There was a law passed about 50 years ago in India stating that society could no longer treat these people as badly as they were doing. But the law has meant nothing. One prime example of how rejected these people are this: Dalits by law are allowed in restaurants and other places. But if a Dalit is given a beverage they are given the drink in a cheaply made clay cup. After the Dalit drinks of the water the cup will be broken and thrown away so no one else will be contaminated by their “dirtiness”. Dalits are not allowed to draw water from the community wells. Because of this Dalits are forced to sit by the well and beg someone of a higher caste for a drink. Normally no one will give them a drink, sometimes they will but they will give it to them in a clay cup. If the shadow of a Dalit crosses that of a high caste that person is considered dirty and must go through a cleansing process.

In the wake of the Tsunami we are all aware that part of India was hit. One of the communities that were struck was a Dalit community. Naturally when they lost everything they went to refuge camps. In these camps they were told to go away that there was no assistance for them. They were told that they would be given no help. They weren’t even given the tools to bury their dead just alcohol so they could get drunk to forget the stench.

Boys playing Cricket, a British form of baseball, at school get into a verbal argument. One side was Dalits the other was of a higher caste. Most of the Dalits were able to escape but 3 were caught by the higher caste. They were drug inside a house and forced to drink urine from a shoe at gunpoint. Then the police were called and they spend 8 days in jail.

I hope I have described to you in enough detail the horrendous treatment these people must endure. This doesn’t just happen to a few people but to the whole society. 25% of the population of India is Dalit, which is about 250 Million. Wow!

Well the song we just heard is from Caedmon’s Call and is called share the well. The band went on a world mission’s trip last year and go to know the Dalit’s story and their need. They wrote this song with authentic Dalit people playing the drums in the background and Dalit vocals. It is about the story of the clay cup and the oppression of the people. They wrote the song on two levels. On the physical level that the people are just oppressed, they need education, food, water, and a chance to succeed.

They also wrote it on a spiritual level. God created and I believe intended all humans to be treated as equals. I believe that the Bible teaches us that salvation is for all man. If we think of the water as Jesus Christ and the well just happens to be the place where it is kept. I think the water in that well is available to all man. God does not look at outside appearances or cares what caste you are part of. He loves you for who you are. It is only when a Dalit hears the gospel of Jesus do they know that they are loved by God the same. They are taught by Hinduism that they are sub-culture. Lower than dirt and outcastes. When they hear about Jesus they realize their worth and they receive salvation not only from their sins but from thinking they are worthless.

Listen to this song again. This time I have a clay cup for you. Inside this cup is the story of the Dalits. On the cup is a website that you can go to learn more about the Dalits and their story and you can do a google search for Dalits and read lots of their stories.

There is enough Jesus to go around: We do no have a monopoly on Jesus. He is for all people and his sacrifice covers a multitude of sins…whether we like it or not. Over time and I don’t blame you guys I think you’ve learned it from someone older than you and even older than your parents. We figured that if we can’t control the water (Jesus) then we can control the vessels (ourselves). We treat sinners like they are filthy, we give them only a little portion of Jesus and that’s the portion we want them to have. Then when we are done giving them charity we go back to our safe corners and break the cups so we don’t get dirty. Jesus wasn’t afraid to get dirty and I believe that he asked us to no be afraid also. He wants us to give to people freely his love. He asks us to be the vessels.

Do you view unbelievers as a lower Caste?
Are you willing to reach into the sin and see the believer?
Even if it means getting a little dirty?
Will you share the well?

Call to action: You may keep the cup free of charge. Please keep in mind that these cups cost me $.25 a piece and I don’t mind covering your cost. But please know that the average Dalit makes a quarter a day. For this next week I am asking every person to go without one thing that costs them money. When you go without take that money that you would spend and put it aside. Next Wednesday bring the money and we will give it to an organization that helps the Dalits.

Don't Do it

"Don't thank God," Rock said. "God's busy working on the tsunami, so leave him alone." Chris Rock commenting on acceptance speeches at the Oscars.

Legalism

It is Easier: I think people in evangelical circles today want to get away from Legalism. The problem is it is to scary on the other side. The unknown side of a life of grace. It's easier to know the list of do's and don't's and know how much God likes you on that grade scale than to...

More to come later I just wanted to get this thought down.

TIME

Parents: Heather and I just got back from Borders where we were reading up on magazines and just enjoying one of my favorite things BOOKS! I finally got to read the new TIME magazine and the article on parents involved in their childrens lives. The article admitted that increased parental involvement is a burden to educators. It noted that it's not the involvement that is the problem but rather the type of involvement. To sum it up the article stated that educators need advocates in parent's not adversaries. Parents: stop babying your kids, stop worrying about perfect grades and build some character in your children. Teach them to be responsible, take risks, do their work on their own, teach them to succeed (don't succeed for them), teach them to fail (and how to prevent it).

My favorite thought was: By the time your child is 18 they will have spent 13% of their lives in school, you focus on the other 87% and let educators take care of their 13%.

Padre

Quote of the Month

I was talking to my Dad today on the phone

Dad asks "how has your week been?"

I say "pretty good, I've been lazy all week and I feel like I wasted it"

He says "ahh it's ok, it's a long life you have to pace yourself!"

that's why it's always good to talk to Dad!

The Hat

Nationals: So I've decided to bail on the Baltimore Orioles and make myself a D.C. fan all the way...well not quite but the Redskins and the Nat'ls. So like every good fan I must sport the home ball cap. Too bad the one I want is out of stock. Grrrr.

People: I think I've figured out why I get so frustrated sometimes. I have literally given my whole life up to this point serving people. I do it because I am serving God and being obedient to him. But still the same my main business is people. I invest my time, money, passions, emotions and much more into people. I want to lead them to better things, to abundant life, to a relatonship with Christ. The pain and frustration comes in when you invest and that investment comes back void, or when you invest and then those people aren't willing to invest in your both. I love people I really do but sometimes I feel like it's all take and no give.

God gives the strength to carry on!

Appropriate Language

Swearing: I was watching the Westminster dog show the other night and the winning dog and her handler were in the winners circle and the judge was standing with them. The interviewer asked the judge, "out of all these spectatular dog why did this one stand out as the winner" The judge said "There was just something spectatular about his bitch"

Even though I'm 25 and my wife is 26 we just cracked up laughing. Not because we're potty mouths you just don't hear that word too often.

Dogs: When I was shopping for my dog about 4 years ago I noticed that's just what dog breeders call the females and the males are called sires or studs. It's not bad, it's not foul language, it's just what the word bitch means.

I hold myself in contempt!

2/16/05

Hockey: So Hockey might resolve their labor conflict today. If they don't do it today then the rest of the season is done with. I only have one question. Who cares? I seldom watched hockey but appreciated the fans, I always enjoyed going to games but who has $30 a ticket to sit in the nose bleeds? I think it was in 95' when Major League Baseball had their strike. I used to watch every game that came on tv and followed all the stats when the labor dispute came and they quit playing I quit watching. I gradually watch more and more but not as much as I once did. It's been 10 years. I wonder if hockey is prepared for a loss of fan base?

Nat'ls: Speaking of Baseball. I think I've decided to quit rooting for the Orioles and start rooting for the new team the Washington Nationals. I have been and O's fan since I was about 9. I have to be honest my reason for jumping ship is a bad one. The O's are in a division with both the Yankees and the Red Sox so their chance of every making it to another world series is pretty low. With a new team coming to D.C. now is the perfect time.

Light: Last night we were driving back from wal-mart, the sun was setting, almost gone from the sky but about 1/8 of the sky was still light. The rest of the sky was pitch black and you could see the darkness advancing on the small portion of lit sky. Something with that scene resonated with me and defined my life perfectly. I feel like I have a bit of light. I have dedicated my life to spreading that light and sometimes is just feels like the darkness keeps creeping in.It just reminded me we put our hope in an eternal future.

Gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight - BNL

Buying Stuff

Buy ME! I'm a buyaholic, I don't really like to shop but I sure do like to buy stuff. Normally my wife and I get an allowance at the beginning of the month and that's what we use to buy haircuts, beauty stuff, shoes...really anything that's not a must have for survival which is most things we buy if we're honest. In an effort to save money for the baby coming I have forgone my allowance and just done without...well I get a haircut still but that's it. At first it was hard because I like to buy stuff but this morning I realized that I really don't miss it...It's for a good cause!

Finished

The Present Future: I finally got serious about this book and finished it. It was an exciting read and quite hands on for as philosophical it was. The question I keep asking myself in my mind is "is it really possible to do church this way." The relevant, caring, God ordained way of doing church...correction not doing church being church. Being a believer a follower of Jesus Christ that cares more about others and increasing the kindgom that about self and increasing his/her church.

We are called to introduce people to Jesus and a relationship with him not churchianity.

I'm fired up now...oh to remain unfrustrated!

Morning

6:45 am: It's funny cuz I'm not really a slacker I'm just a night owl. I condition my body to stay up late and then wake up about 8am so it's not that I get more sleep than regular working people I just get my hours at a time more preferred by me. 6:45 really isn't all that early but it feels bad when you go to bed at 2 am.

7:15 am: The best part about leaving the house for a youth trip this early is that I feel entitled to some starbucks coffee as a reward for my good deeds. So I am faced with the perilious question of Mocha of white chocolate mocha...

life's tough decisions

The Present Future

The Present Future: Reggie McNeal--I started to say that this book is a must read for all church going people but I don't believe that it really is. It is a must read for people who are tired of "doing church". If you are tired of being part of a religious club, if you are tired of your holy huddle, if you read the stories of Jesus and have asked yourself why can't I be just a little like him, if you are a rebel, a fire starter, a brave soul then read this book.

The world is depending on you.

Fur coats

PETA: The people for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has found a way to recycle fur coats that they have collected. They were giving them to the homeless of Washington D.C. Good Idea PETA! That's the first constructive thing I've ever heard of PETA doing. Where I'm from they stand at the fishing piers and yell at you.

Fur Coats: One time my Uncle Lenny set up for me and my sister to work at the coat room of the local Elks Lodge. It was their annual Christmas dinner so the men and women were dressed to the hilt and of course they had their fur on. They would hand us their coats and we would hand them their tags. The women would reek of perfume and I would grab the coat and this horrendous smell of cheap perfume and nasty fur coat would envelope me. It was quite tramatic if I remember it 18 years later.

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday: I went to the local Catholic church this morning. I just missed the Ash Wednesday morning mass but was able to see the people walking out. I always enjoy going to St. John’s and this morning was no different. I must admit one thing before people start thinking I’m some sort of…well I don’t know what. The reasons I go are two fold and two fold selfish. The first is that it’s easier to be quiet and solemn at such a sombering place. The second reason is that I like to get ideas for experiential worship.

I was just talking to a guy the other day that LOVES to try “new” things in his youth worship service. He was just talking about how he rips off the catholic ideas all the time. As I entered today what appeared to be an exiting from a funeral, I then sat down on a pew about half way back. There was a group of senior citizens that must not’ve got enough during the mass because they were holding their service on the opposite side of me. Nothing to terribly alarming about that.

As I was reading my Bible and looking at the crucifix at the front of the church I couldn’t help but hear the holy seniors prayers. One Lord’s prayer, some scripture reading, another Lord’s prayer and then…much praying to the “virgin” Mary. As they began those prayers, and I don’t mean to offend Catholics, I felt very uncomfortable. I pray to one God. I believe this is a Biblical truth and praying to anything else is idolatry. I tried to ignore it but as their prayers went on there was a check in my spirit and I had to leave. They were praying to a false god, putting their trust in a woman, who gave birth to the son of God, no small feet, but in the end was just a woman, not a god.

I know that experiential worship has led us to the things of the past and anyone who knows me knows I love experiential hands on worship but we must remember our separation from the Catholic church and why as we pilgrim ahead…err…back.

Amazing

Driving: Heather and I went for a drive today. There are some foothills near our house and we enjoy the seclusion of the woods and the ability to get away such a short distance from our house. Both of us had the day off and so we went for a drive. The drive was nice, uneventful and gave us sometime to just talk and enjoy one another. I enjoy those times.

George: I have a dog, he's about a 14 pound jack russell terrier and he's the best dog in the world. He obeys better than most 8 year olds and he's good for a laugh and unconditional love. George listens really well and is well trained...lately when I let him out back he doesn't come back in when I call him. He knows it's muddy outside and I don't want to get my feet muddy so he just ignored me when I call him. Today he was out back ignoring me as usual and I picked up his air filled and kind of soft green ball. I yelled "George if you don't get in here I'm going to hit you in the head with this ball". He turned and glanced over the forty some foot spanse and just laughed. I thought I hear him mutter "you don't have the arm woman" but you can never be sure. So not wanting to throw out empty threats I gripped the ball firmly and gave it a nice line drive throw.

:it was at this exact time that the stars aligned, gravity reversed and God smiled down on me: As the ball left my hand I felt the magic, I believed in the power of positive thinking and I knew the throw was going to strike home. Sure enough just as George looked up and muttered oh %$^# (he has a foul mouth for a dog), the ball struck him right in the skull. It was simply amazing. I called George again, this time he came back in the house.

It's not every day something like that happens I mean throwing a soft ball sized ball at a baseball sized head at 40' and hiting my target, the gods were with me. Reminds me of the time in youth group growing up we were watching Tremors in the yg room and I said I hate this movie I'm turning off the tv and from 15' away I threw a gummie bear and hit the off button and the tv turned off.

What will tomorrow bring?

Wanted:

ADHD: I thought that'd be a cool name for my youth group. If you have to have a name why not have one that describes one so well.

Seeking employment: Youth pastor looking for mediocre church. Church I am desiring has enough people to pay the bills but not enough to make anyone uncomfortable. I am looking to work a maximum of 35 hours a week and I offer limited creativity. I want a church that is dedicated and committed to the status quo and not too concerned with reaching the lost. I feel this environment is safe and does not offend anyone nor will it require to much of me. My talents are in maintaining and patting current believers on the back and telling them they're doing a good job. Sustaining is my middle name. Churches finding this description matches up with their values please call, I think we're a match. I can be reached via email...

No offers? I didn't think so.

Dress up day...

Suits: The first sunday of every month at my church is communion sunday, it is also the one week a month that I am required to wear a suit. Our church is an otherwise dress casual atmosphere and I enjoy that. But communion sundays...well I hate wearing a suit...to church. Don't get me wrong I like look dapper when going on special nights with my honey or other sophisticated occasions. I guess the reason is those night I'm trying to impress someone or feel important. At church I've already impressed the one I want to think me important and when it comes down to it HE is impressed with me not because of a thing I do but because of everything he has done.

In the end I just hate wearing a suit to church, no reason to overspiritualize it I just don't like it.

I'm going to go cry now!

Car woes

So the heat in the big green beast (96 Ford Explorer) hasn't been working on those really cold days. It's not all that bad really except you can't feel your fingers, talk on the phone, or breathe deeply...ok it's horrible. So today I bit the bullet and tried to figure out what it was. I suspected the thermostat so I bought one ($4) and installed it. It didn't take very long because I have done it before. As I was finishing up I looked over to my wife's car and noticed she had a flat tire. What the crap? I was so irritated. Not that Heather did anything to do it these things happen but the timing was just pretty bad.

I got it done, washed the dog, vacuumed the house, and layed on the couch. Perfect lineup for a saturday and it's still only 5:30.

Well I wanted to be a nerd. I was hoping but then I took the test...I'm not a nerd. What a sad realization! 

I'm going to smash your pinata!

Do it the way I normally do it...: When a sentence begins with those words and I am being asked to do something I kind of just chuckle. If you want me to do something but want to tell me how to do it and want me to do it like you do it...then why don't you just do it yourself. That's the beauty of other people doing stuff they're going to do it their way and it's going to be different.

Messy: Yesterday I had the opportunity to view and interact in a meeting as an outsider. It was a group of youth pastors for a nearby county. I had no investment nor would I gain anything from the planning to I listened and I observed. The intent of the meeting was to plan a session 2 hours a month where paid and unpaid youth staff could come and interact with other youth leaders and hear from a trained professional in some field about a topic that should benefit the youth leader. As the planning and brain sparking was going on I thought the ideas were flowing and the team was working well together. The structure of the event was being set in place but was not exceedingly rigid and seemed quite interactive and free flowing. This this dude says...but we're messy people. He didn't want any structure to the event. He just wanted...chaos? I'm all about messy and I know spiritually I'm not all put together nor do I think my end goal is to be all put together. I am a man on a quest, the quest has no end but is merely about the people on it with me...and my relationship with HIM. The way this fella was talking was as if structure was bad, organization was bad, and planning was even worse. I don't think that's what messy means but I can see some youth pastors in the future saying...I don't have to play ahead, have permission slips or do paperwork be cause I'm MESSY. How about LAZY!

Post-Modern: At the above mentioned meeting their started talk of doing a session on Post-modern thinking and the church. One of the guys spoke up and said some stuff he was doing with his group and instantly there was a buzz about how pomo this cat was. Now I'm no pomo specialist. I've been studying the emerging church and my emerging students. I have had to reconcile in my mind many things theologically and I have been on a major journey these past 7 months about the whole emergent church and I believe I am better for it. I see a strong need for the church to adapt to the culture because if we do not then the church will DIE. What I was hearing from these guys is that we can change the aesthetics of what is being done. We can generate some hands-on stuff twice a month or even every week; We light a few candles, throw some sand on the floor, draw a picture and we're post modern...hooray we have arrived! Post modernism and being emergent is doing interactive worship...bull! It's more than aesthetics and experiential worship it's a mindset that we must adopt, that our spiritual walk is not a destination but a journey that is often ugly, marred and not dictated by stages.

Some people call me space cowboy

Some call me gangsta of love, but most just call me Padre.

Biblical Virtues: I've been praying through this book mark I got for my unborn baby Nathan. 31 Biblical Virtues to pray for your kids by Bob Hostetler.

Buck Wild: I live in a city that has expanded by about 100k people in the past 14 years. The problem with that is the roads and traffic patterns have not been able to keep up and what's even worse is the people that lived here when it was a tiny farming community still live here and get spooked by all the traffic. I used to think they were the worst of traffic problems. I have since change my opinion.

I've noticed the past few days how confident people are in their cars. For little or no reason at all they will start yelling at you from their drivers seat, or one time it was the passenger seat. Do something they don't approve and you almost guaranteed to see their faces turn red and their mouths open with profanity. I think it's kind of funny but mostly sad. If their life is so fragile that driving makes them rage then they must have a pretty rough life. What's unusual is that I'm not a small man. I have never been sworn at in public to my face because frankly people are afraid and if not afraid have a healthy respect for my substantial girth. Basically people don't give me lip...put them in a nice safe confined car and they'll jump on you like stink on a buffalo fart.

Juggling: ESPN 2 has had on the World Juggling Federation Championships. Who know there was a such thing?

Groundhog's day

Big Cars: I understand that as you get into your senior citizen years you have a need to be comfortable. I'd like to think I respect the elderly very much. But why oh why must they drive the huge cars. They have a hard enough turning the wheel and seeing out the windshield without the car being roughly the size of a humvee. I wonder if we could start a national campaign to get seniors to drive toyota echo's or Chevy Cavaliers. I'm writing them a letter today.

Democracy: So Iraq had their elections...that's pretty cool. I think their might be a problem though. Saddam Hussein, you know their former dictator, was actually registered and eligible to cast a ballot. He did not vote from the confines of his prison but it leaves one question unanswered...who would he have voted for?

Cancer: They don't prepare you for this at Bible College. Got a call monday telling me that one of my key students (17 years old) has two spots on his thyroid and that they are cancer. He went in for a PET scan yesterday and the cancer HAS NOT spread to any other area. God is good. He is having surgery today to remove his thyroid. We are confident that God is going to remove this surgery and that David will never have to deal with cancer again.

Jesus Christ is LORD of all!

God gave me this verse in my time with him to show David
"Don't be afraid, for you are deeply loved by God. Be at peace; take heart and be strong!"

Clay Cup

I received a free box of youth pastor goodies from our local Christians bookstore. I have connections there so they are always sure to reserve me a box, great people! In that box was a single of Caedmon's Call new album Share the well with the song Share the Well. I heard the song and enjoy it's Indian flavor. In that same box was a clay cup, about 4" tall and quite crudely made. I laughed to myself and wondered if they had given me the Holy Grail by accident.

A while later in the day I revisited the box and was reading the devotional guide that go along with some of the CD's. On the very last page was a devotional about the song Share the Well and it told of a society in India called the Dalit's. Dalit translates "broken in pieces" or "ground". In the caste system of India they are the lowest class, even lower than animals. They are not allowed pots or buckets to get water from the community wells and are instead forced to beg the higher castes for water. Often they are overlooked and ignored. When they are given water they are given it in a crudely made clay cup. The reason for the clay cup is so that it can be broken when the Dalit is done drinking so as not to contaminate anyone else.

You can read more about the Dalit's and clay cups HERE

the devotional thoughts in this post are derived from Youth Pastor Perks and I believe written by Mike Wilson.