I hear this new series is all the hype. Has anyone heard of it?

All the Hype

Darkness: When I graduated from Toccoa I got my dream job of being a campus security guard. I wasn’t just any security guard though; I was the #2 security guard. At night from midnight to 7am I was in charge of campus security. At a school of about 800 full students the job was as glorious as it sounds.

But as much as I disliked that job I also enjoyed it. I was treated well by my boss, I got to work with some friends and Heather and I had a few months to grow, be married and enjoy life before we ventured out into ministry land.

I also learned lots of lessons at that job. There’s something about being alone in the middle of northeast Georgia with nothing but a plastic flashlight and a set of keys in one of the darkest places known to man that will teach you some lessons about life. The most important was not to be afraid of the dark. I know that sounds silly but I think it’s natural that humans are afraid of the dark. When I started working I would patrol campus with my flashlight zipping the light to the dark places to make sure no one was hiding there. They would be hiding there to scare me of course. I was never worried about criminals or thugs but rather people hidden to scare me.

Sometimes I was supposed to enter dark buildings and unlock doors. At first I used my flashlight then as I got used to it I put the light away and just ventured out into the dark by myself. Sometimes I would get a little spooked (that’s for another blog) but generally I was ok. The best thing I learned that 9 months was no to be afraid of the dark because it was in the darkness that I challenged myself and I grew.

Today, on this blog I need to venture into the dark. I want to go it alone so I’m only inviting you to follow a few paces back. I’m not sure why I’m making this blog public and I might be only because I think sharing it with others and with the public is part of that venturing into the darkness. This is something I’ve needed to do for a while and today I’m going to do it.

Tomorrow is my little brother Doug’s 21st birthday. 21 years ago tomorrow he was born. I can still remember that day even though I was only 6 and a half. I remember how excited I was to have a little brother. However my brother won’t turn 21 tomorrow. Forever he will be 17. You see instead of cake and a party tomorrow there will be flowers and balloons on his headstone. Our small “presents” of memory will litter the cemetery and even though they ask us to not leave things because it gets in the way of the lawn mowers we’ll do it anyway.

Doug’s birthday is the only day I’ll go to the cemetery in the whole year. Maybe it’s my stubbornness but I think it’s my longing to hold onto the memory of his life. I think God agrees with me on this one. Because God wants me to remember Doug’s life and I think this is why my son Nathan Douglas was born exactly 1 year after we placed Doug at his final resting place. So tomorrow I will go and visit the cemetery and celebrate the 17 years of Doug’s life that I have to celebrate.

Yesterday my sister went with her 2 kids to the cemetery and my nephew Luke said, “Momma, you know Uncle Doug isn’t here right?” Beth said, “Yes, Luke I know that.” Luke went on “this is only the place where his old body lies, his new body is with him in Heaven”. Luke is the smartest 5 year old I know because he knows Jesus, just like his Uncle Doug.

My brother Doug took his own life 3 and a half years ago. I know that there are those who work with youth that read this blog. Please do me a favor and mention suicide to your youth at some point in the next few weeks, in honor of Doug’s life. You don’t have to teach a whole message on it but simply bring it up that it’s something some people think about and it’s something some people do. You aren’t abnormal if you think about it but you need to talk to someone about it. Ask for help from adults that care about you and if you can’t find any of those dare to do something crazy and tell the adults you don’t think care about you!

Thanks for walking into this darkness with me. Tomorrow we celebrate life, no matter how short and no matter how tragic the ending. Live life to the fullest, be used by God continually and surrender all to him, when you don’t have the strength to do that ask Him to take it for you.

The Barenaked Ladies cover a song by Bruce Cockburn called Lovers in a Dangerous Time one of the lines in this song is one of my favorite lyrics:
But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight --
Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight

Random disturbing thought of the day yesterday:

I should find that Brittney Spears CD.

I think not: I ran into my friend Nic today. We met because we have the same name, I'm Nicholas David and he's Nicolas David. Our parent's were genius! Our friendship is weird simply because of the nature of how we met, why we met and that we continue to meet. I don't really know a lot about Nic except that he loves Jesus and is drastically confused about life and what this all means, but he's looking for answers so he's interesting to talk with.

It's also weird because I really trust him. I ran into him today, which was weird because last I saw him he was leaving for New York for good. Turns out he's back in VA to pack up somethings and heading to Arkansas to live with his biological father who he's never met. I think he stopped by Starbucks to see if I was here. Our conversation was real and refreshing.

So back to the title of this post. Coincidence...I think not.

Speak of coincidence: As of today I have oficially lost 60lbs. Actually 60.5. This puts me halfway to my goal of 119lbs. I started on April 2 and today is July 19. I've been going at it for about 16 weeks now. That's an average weekly loss of 3.75 lbs a week.

Anybody need some clothes?

Divine Nobodies by Jim Palmer. I could write two reviews for this books. The first review would say that this book is one of a dozen books about basically the same topic- a christian who was jaded, is jaded and their stories of leaving the christian religion and finding Christ. These are books I'm drawn to because I find my story in them. So that's my first review, unoriginal and nothing extraordinary.

And here's my second review. I enjoy the stories of faith. I particularly moved by the story of his trip to southeast Asia and witnessing the child prostitution and sex slavery that takes place. That story really wrecked my day but in a very necessary way. I also like where he landed on the end with the church. He has chosen to remove himself from it despite once being a very successful pastor but he makes room for it in the believers life.

I don't know how to say this. I resonated with much of the book...perhaps too much. Perhap a little bit of bitterness that I saw I feel in my own heart sometimes...and that scares me a little.

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I have a few book reviews and things like that I'd like to get down before too much time gets by. So here goes.



The Starbucks Experience by Joseph Michelli. When I started reading this book I was wondering why I had paid money for it. Not that it started bad but I started to ask mysel how many books can be written about Starbucks. I read the one written by the sort of founder of Starbucks Howard Shultz and I believe I read another one so this was my third book. However the author did a good job stating that while he is an honest 3rd party perspective that he also was given priviledges to learn some insider information about the company.

Long story short Starubucks is an exceptional company that has changed the face of retail and food service industry. By offering benefits and other employee perks they have raised the bar of what is expected by other employees. The thing that stuck out to me the most was the mention of the "homegrown" coffee shops that are popping up everywhere. Most people when they hear Starbucks is coming to town figure the local shopped is doomed to fail. But the truth is that this challenges local shops to raise the bar and most local shops increase in revenue when Starbucks moves into town.

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Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. I've read this book before and I wanted to read it for our Father's day service back in June. I remember being moved the first time I read it and this time was no exception. To any man this book is relevant and real. Most of all it's powerful and can be life changing. If you are a man and have never read this book do yourself a favor and go buy it and read it.

In the next few days I'll post the quotes on courage toward the end of the book. This book inspired me to be a man of biblical standards and inspires me to great things and to be a great husband, father and pastor.

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Transformers: The movie. I saw it on Tuesday and then I saw it with some friends last night. The first viewing left me simply amazed. I went into the movie with high expectations and left with no disappointment at all. Last night...I enjoyed it as much the second time as the first. This movie is incredible and when it was over Brandon said to me. I think that movie ranks up there with Gladiator...I couldn't argue.

Telling: I thought it would be more telling if I asked what are the first 10 songs in your top 25 most played list in itunes.

1. You're Beautiful by James Blunt
2. Bubbly by Colbie Caillat
3. Fade me away by Graham Davis
4. Pootermobile by Five Iron Frenzy
5. Falling love by Lisa Loeb
6. My savior my God by Aaron Shust
7. Lose Yourself by Eminem
8. Stuck in a moent you can't get out of by U2
9. Stinky Hippie by Fire Iron Frenzy
10. Red HIll mining town by U2

So I'm kind of a woman.

who's next?

Tagged: I've been tagged. Which where I'm from means I've been spray painted on but apparently to others it means I have to post first 10 songs my itunes comes to on shuffle.

Word of God speak by Big daddy weave (not sure I've ever listened to this song)
Freedom by Blues Traveler
Lame by Seven Mary Three
A boy named Sue by Johnny Cash
Fade me Away by Graham Davis
Here I am to worship by Tim Hughes (of course)
Oh, Canada by Five Iron Frenzy (How cute! God save the queen)
A look back at last by D.C. Talk
Sing along song by Stryper
Have yourself a merry little Christmas by Diana Kroll

After a strong start it appears Nick really faded off towards the end.

So I'll tag...Brandon and Kristy for this one.

Why it's funny being a pastor part #1: After church Sunday I'm talking with 2 couples and we're just shooting the breeze. One of the guys asks me "what's the deal with having munchkins in church every Sunday are you trying to get everyone fat?" The other guy says "yeah but look at Nick he's lost a ton of weight. Nick how much have you lost?" I reply "52 pounds so far." Guy #1 goes "DAMN, how much did you weigh?" Wife of guy #1 gives him startled and panicked look. I carry on as if nothing was said while dying of laughter on the inside.

Why it's funny being a pastor part #2: I'm working out at the gym today and I see one of the guys that goes to our church. We talk a little like we normally do and his step son is with him. We've met a few times before but I don't really know the step son. We all three end our workout at the same time and so we get to the locker room at about the same time. I hit the hot tub for a few minutes while they go to shower. I then head to the shower and we're all in there together. The step son says "Hey Manny, what are you going to do now that your pastor has seen you naked?" Then he cracks up laughing and walks away...laughing the whole time.