Thursday, October 11, 2007

Confessions of a Pastor: Both Craig Groeschel and Mark Driscoll have written books about their "confessions". I figured I'd start with a blog entry. So here's one of my confessions.

As a pastor people tell me things. You know, big things. Things you don't really tell other people. They tell me in confidence and I gladly accept that role in their lives. Everyone has a different reason as to why I'm the man to confide it. I think sometimes confession is just so we don't have to carry the burden alone. Some tell me because they figure I have the ability to get them forgiven and I regret to report that's not a skill I acquired at Bible College. I think most people tell me these things because if you let the darkness live inside of you it starts eating at you, and it hurts. By telling someone it releases some of the pressure and alleviates some of the pain. There are those that tell me things because they want restoration. These are my favorite, I can work with these.

I'll be in one of these conversations and I can read the strain and hear the pain of their voices to bring up this topic. I never know what it's going to be but I know it's going to be serious and I know for this person the words they are saying are some of the worst words they have ever heard and they can hear the betrayal of their own voice. They tell me, they force the words out and I can see the darkness leave them. They have accomplished a great thing, they have confessed their sins to another.

Then comes the part where it's my turn. It's my turn to give them words, to encourage them or sometimes just to tell them I love them and that there is life after this. But sometimes as I speak I just want to share with them that parts of my heart are as black as what they just shared. Perhaps the only difference between me and them is that the darkness captured their actions for a short time and I've somehow stifled mine. But I want to tell them that I'm human just like them and that I don't have any magical words of healing only that God loves them and forgives. God's not exactly ok with our darkness but he wants us to surrender it to him and not submit to it.

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