Confessions of a Pastor by Craig Groeschel. This is the best book I've read this year and honestly a book I wished I'd written. Of course I'm not at a place where I can write this book but Craig is and I'm glad he did. This short little 200 page book really changed my perspective and spurred me to action. It made me realize some things about myself and God used the book to bring me to a point of realization and confession.

Worry: As a result of the book mentioned above I realized I'm pretty much worried all the time. I worry about my son Nathan and I worry about my wife Heather. I worry that when I'm not around something tragic will happen. I worry that we're not going to live happily every after. I worry that the church we invest so much in isn't going to take off. I worry that I ask too much of the people that are being used by God in our church. I worry almost incesantly.

Fear: I'm also afraid a lot. Mostly afraid of failure. I'm afraid I'm not going measure up, I'm not going to be a good enough preacher, pastor, and administrator in the church. I'm afraid I'll say something stupid, that people won't like me, I'm afraid I'll fail.

So what I've reduced my life to is things I can contain and don't have to worry about much. I take calculated risk so I don't have to be afraid. I've even reduced my friendships to this.

Last night while hanging out with Brandon I told him about how I'm afraid all the time and I worry. I apologized to him for being this way with him. Like a good friend he forgave me and we had a blast last night just talking, eating dinner at Chili's and watching part of Gladiator.

I feel more free and am trusting God for freedom from this worry and fear. I'm going to keep giving these things to God and trusting him to carry them for me. I hope my vulnerability doesn't freak you out but like Craig Groeschel did for me that my vulnerability encourages you to rid yourself of these incredible inhibitors.