Likely incoherent *read at your own risk*

9/27/06

Post Liquid: I’ve live through the post 9/11 flying procedure and while there were some inconveniences during the whole process I think we all understood and handled well the new restrictions. Things might take longer but flights would be safer.

I also recognize that a major terror plot was uncovered in England where gels were involved and we’ll never know the potential tragedy that was averted because of intelligence….but…. I really have to admit that the whole gel/liquid ban is just crazy. I’m not saying it’s unnecessary but it is simply crazy.

9/28/06
Trans-Atlantic Part 1: The trip across was one of the more comfortable I’ve ever had. The plane had TV’s for every seat and played several movies including RV and X3- which was a great way to pass 2 hours by watching X3. The best part was the two seats next to me opened up so I could really spread out. I also finished the book I’ve been reading and listened to a few pod casts I’ve been needing to get to.

Vienna: We went into Vienna today, which sure beat the heck out of spending 14 hours in the airport. We spent about 9 hours out in the city and are now here in the airport spending our remaining 5- layovers are going to be in hell- I’m sure of it.

Vienna was…unimpressive. It is a European city, which is neat but doesn’t hold a candle to Krakow or Prague. Vienna is also expensive! But it was a good day and considering I’m operating on about half hour of sleep it’s been a great day. I like my travel mates and we’ve had fun.

Light: Today I woke up at that precarious point where the darkness of night seems to be at its strongest. It's that point where you actually start to wonder if the sun is going to rise to push away the darkness. Today that happened to be 5:15 am. I finally decided that I would have faith that the sun would rise today. Here I sit typing this blog entry starting to see the glimpses of light on the world but still in fact having my doubts as to whether the sun will make it up today...

Celebrate: I want to celebrate some people stepping into leadership roles the past few weeks. I began to forget the perspective change that occurs when you step from participant to leader of a certain group or ministry. Their excitement is exciting to me. So hooray for these people.

Kristy O'Neal: leading our next preview event- 2006 Bridge Community Festival

Robert and Jenni LaCroix: now leading our Thursday night small group- Starting Point.

Mark and Maylene Garrett: facilitating and coodinating leadership for our children's programming for our Sunday afternoon family small group.

Brandon Boyd: serving as my "bounce things off of guy". Great minds think alike...but fools never differ.

I'll stop before this starts to sound like the inside of a cd cover.

The Devil's Highway: Probably the spookiest book I've ever read. I think it was the first book that I just sat down and finished so I could be done with it and not have it plague my thoughts any longer. With that said thought the book was worth every penny I paid for it. A story of mexican entrants into the United States. It starts in Veracruz, Mexico way down on the border and it ends in Arizona with 14 of the 26 immigrants dead in the desert and the others severly damaged to the point of death by the sun.

It's a story of immigration but moreso a story of the illegal trade of people that happens every day. I know now that most mexicans don't wake up and decide they're going to hop the border and go work at Bennett's Creek Nursery, your local construction company, or McDonald's. They are lured by rich mexicans that tell them their money is in the united states. They are charged thousands of dollars and shipped to the border when they are continually charged until they start the walk from Mexico through the Arizona desert, hiding from border patrol the whole time. Every step of their journey someone is there pulling in profit from the point they leave their home to the point they die in the desert or the point they are found a job in Chicago, Washington DC or Suffolk, VA.

Special Delivery: We were finally able to deliver the pictures from the Back to School Party. We had about 10 to deliver, all to people in our neighborhood. A few people weren't home but most were. We used the delivery as opportunity for some conversation as well as to invite our neighbors to a new Life Group we'll be starting October 8. It was enjoyable and we followed up with lots of good contacts. Connecting with our community like that is always eye opening. I learn so much about people when I do this. I'm going to work on being able to do this more often.

Flight: I saw this article on Foxnews.com this morning. Passenger tries to open exit door of plane during cross-country flight. Basically someone when crazy during a flight and was pulling on the handle for the emergency exit door. A quote in the story that says "noone was injured". I'm sorry but if I was on that plane then there would have been at least one injured person and it would have been the guy pulling on the emergency handle.

In other news: What's the deal with people not parking in between the lines of parking spaces? I think the parking lines are a great idea, I wish people would use them. I've noticed it's generally large suvs. As an owner of an suv I'm here to tell you they aren't hard to park. You don't have quite as much room on the sides but with a little effort you can get the bohemoth in a spot.

Waiting: I'm waiting for lots of stuff right now. I ordered some books from buy.com the other day. 4 books. I saved a few dollars getting them from buy.com but if I would have ordered them from amazon they would have been here by now. I ordered some small group materials for our new small group Starting Point, out of North Point near Atlanta. If you haven't looked into this study and are looking for a good one I recommend it! I'm also waiting for my visa to come so I'll have all my stuff for my trip to Russia.

And the biggest thing I'm waiting for which probably has intensified my sense of waiting is for my trip to Europe that starts September 27th. I'll be heading to Krasnodar, Russia where my best friend JB is in language school. He is there with his wife, Iris and son Gavin, who is 2 months younger than Nathan. I have known JB since my first day of college and we have shared many life memories together these last 9 years. I haven't seen JB in well over a year, which is the longest time by far. Thank goodness for cheap calling cards and skype! For 4 days I get to visit JB and I know it will be simply incredible. I also get to go to 3 countries I haven't been to yet- Austria, Russia and Germany.

Working: But before I go there is lots to do. It's weird how hard it is to leave for 10 days. I honestly feel like the whole thing is going to fall apart if I leave. But that thought is absurd. The Bridge Church is made up of a group of highly committed people who are focused on planting a Christ centered, community driven church. So really I'm focusing on making sure they have the tools and resources needed to do what God has called them to do for not just the time I'm away but for the next 3-12 months.

God is good and he works through my doubts, insecurities and through my mistakes. He either works through them, around them, or just makes them irrelevant Regardless of how he does it all the fact of the matter is he works through US (me, you, them) and that thought is as amazing as any I've ever tried to fathom.

I remember: I was working nights as a 3rd shift security guard at the college I had just graduated from, Toccoa Fall College. Heather was teaching school and we had only been married a little more than 2 months, almost three. I would come home and sleep while Heather worked so we could have our evenings together before I had to head to work at midnight.

I remember watching the news that morning before I headed to bed. It was a slow news Michael Jordan was talking about coming back out of retirement. I went to sleep instead of watching.

I was sleeping soundly when the phone started ringing. I ignored it a few times but it just kept ringing. I finally answered it figuring it was Heather and she needed something. I answered and just heard Heather say "there's something wrong with the world". I asked her to explain but she couldn't. She just said "there's something wrong with the world, go turn on the tv". Ok I love you, goodbye.

I went out to the front door passed the tv and looked outside. The sun was still shining.

I turned on the tv and immediately was aware that Heather was right- there was something wrong with the world. I stood there frozen, in complete disbelief. Then the tower fell, then the other. I don't remember sitting down but I know I did and I just watched for hours. I somehow knew the magnitude of the day and here I am 5 years later and I still remember where I was and what I did and even how I felt. I do remember calling my mom and brother, dad and sister (who was 9 months pregnant) to make sure they were ok with everything and that they knew I love them.

If there is one thing in my life that changed after 9/11 is that I never left a family member without telling them I loved them. I've spread this practice even to some of my friends that live distances away. Because in case something does happen and one of us dies before we see the other again I want to make sure they know how I feel about them.

Sound small and so simple but I can't think of a better lesson for me to have learned from all that tragedy than love.

I learned two things today.

1. I have small dreams. I was dreaming about things and goals that I probably could have somehow figured out by myself. Today I was reminded that I should be planning for things I cannot fathom, I need to be dreaming bigger than I am. I shouldn't be striving to accomplish tasks but to set up systems and processes that can stretch and flex as needed. Then I went outside to work on my lawn and I learned number two.

2. The people that really need Jesus aren't going to be all put together or quick fixes. They are going to be basketcases with deep problems. They aren't going to be ready for leadership in 3 short steps. They are going to be fractured. Somehow this is not troubling to me at all.

Rejuvenile: I heard about this book by reading one of the blogs I keep up with. I was interested in reading something outside of the typical religious circles I read books from. I wasn't disappointed at all in the book but even still after having finished it I can't quite figure out what the author was trying to accomplish or where he stood on the rejuvenile tendency of some adults.

He exhalted the ability to return to favorite childhood games, hobbies, and toys, which gave me a sense of normalcy. But he also admitted to some freakiness of certain actions towards childhood things. I think ultimately what I apreciated was his stance on maturity doesn't mean we forsake things from our childhood but somehow fun loving and at times carefreeness can be coupled with maturity. He marked maturity as being able to care for and make decisions for oneself.

Books: I just ordered a new set of books. 10 dumbest things Christians do, The Devil's Highway and Go to Hell (a history of the underworld)

Pardon Me: Pardon my dramatic anger. When I make an appointment with someone at 9:30 then I expect to be seen within 10 minutes of 9:30. I can't tell you how many times we will take Nathan to a Doctor's appointment and we get there 10 minutes early like we're supposed to and then aren't seen until 30 minutes after his appointment time. If Nathan were a layed back easily entertained kid then it might be a little different but he's very active and likes to go. Asking him to wait that long just isn't fair for him.

But it happens to me when I'm by myself. I made an 11 am appointment to have my new car stereo installed. I walk in at 11 an there is no one in the bay. After I wait for 10 minutes to show up I go to the front of the store and they tell me someone should be back there. This is when I want to say "I'm sure they should be back there but they aren't".

But seriously a little bit more respect of appointments would be great.

Invincible: Heather and I went to a movie last night. It's called a cinema cafe and for those who might not know what that is, it's a movie theater with tables and chairs rather than theater seats and they serve food...and bring it right to you. I assume other places in the country have them but we seem to have a few more than usual around this area.

We were dropping Nathan off at my moms and at my moms house ran into one of our friends that we've met through my mom. She said she had coupons and offered them to us. So...with coupons we enjoyed free admission, a buy one get one free meal and a free large popcorn. We walked away winner and enjoyed night out on mostly coupons.

The movie...one of the best I've seen in a while. In a way it's a classic disney sports movie like Miracle or Remember the Titans but in another way do those feel good sports stories every grow old?

The only problem is that the movie features the Philadelphia Eagles and that's just immoral!

Mockingbird: Derek Webb is giving away copies of his cd mockingbird at www.freederekwebb.com. You have to submit 5 of your friends email addresses but it's a free music download of a very inspired album.

Ernesto: We are now getting our version of Hurricane Ernesto which means rain, some light winds and depending on the tides, flooding. As Robbie and I decided last night it's hard to take a Hurricane named Ernesto seriously.

Backpack: When I was a young teenager I was at my friends house and we started watching this movie. The lead actor was in really good shape and every morning he would get up and put on a backpack and would go for a run. The crazy thing is that the backpack was filled with bricks. So every morning this guy would get up and put on a backpack filled with bricks and go for a run. He was tough. Sometimes he would add bricks because it wasn't heavy enough but he never took out bricks, only added them.

Then one morning he takes his brick filled backpack and forget to look both ways as he crosses the street and WHACK he gets hit by a car. He is paralyzed from the waist down or maybe from the neck down...I don't remember. Then I think there was something about a white faced monkey...it was a long time ago.

Sometimes I get to feeling real responsible for life. I feel responsible for The Bridge Church and guaranteeing success for the church. I feel responsible to change people's lives to connect people to God. I think on the surface those are pretty good things to feel responsible for and sometimes it is. But then I get to feeling too responsible and rather than conduit or a vessel of these things I must be the initiator and creator of these things. I assume the role of God. I remove God from his throne in my life and in other's lives and I feel responsible to take over. I put on my brick filled backpack, which as illustrated by the guy in the movie probably isn't such a good idea. I might get attacked by monkeys.

The backpack isn't mine and it's a ridiclous burden to think I can carry. It will go on for a few days and I start getting tired and I feel these bricks jabbing into my back and I start thinking all this work just isn't fair and this responsiblity just isn't good. Then I realize I'm carrying that darn backpack again and I ask God to take it off of me and to carry it for me.

Taking the pack off is generally harder than putting it on. God gives his grace though and he's carrying it again for me.

Way Off: You know I don't think I've ever had anyone tell me when I shared with them a new thought I've had "Nick, You're way off!" Even in a bible study sometime someone will share something (is that ambigious or what?) and what they share will be so off kilter and wack I barely contain my facial expression and I'll try to gently try to help them refocus their thought but I've never told someone straight out that they were way off and living poor theology and had a wrong view of God. Not saying I'll start I just wonder if there's a place for that.

Plan B further thoughts on faith: I finished the book and as I was reading it I would wonder why I was still reading it and I concluded that I wanted to finish so I could fell justified when I wrote this blog entry. I think Anne Lamott is a very creative, endearing and interesting writer. I really do enjoy her writing style but not so much her content. Maybe it's because she's west coast and I'm east coast. Maybe I'm just not hippie, left, or pessimistic enough to get it this time. But honestly I don't live in the sky is falling world she lives in. Life is just not that bad for me. I do value her consistent idea that God brings hope and that God uses mankind to be instruments of hope in this dark world. I agree with that.

There were certainly other truths I got from her book. For instance she talks about how she talks to her son and how nasty she can be with him and him with her. She says that she talks with him that way because...she can. That got me thinking about how family will treat family sometime. How the ones we spend the most time with and the ones we love the most can be the ones we treat the worst. We do it because, like Anne says, we can. We talk to a stranger that way and they would punch us in the face but we talk to our children that way and they have no choice but to take it. The thought has stayed with me and I want to learn from it. I want to treat my family better than I treat perfect strangers.

Nathan Son: Heather and I took a day off yesterday and went up to a state park about an hour from our house. It's right on the river so there is a beach and the river is huge so the water is calm and shallow. Nathan played in the water, I went fishing and we had a great time. It's amazing how much Nathan already wants to do what I'm doing. When I was fishing he wasn't happy until Heather made him a fishing pole from a stick complete with line and a bobber.

Last night I was playing with Nathan and I threw some folded socks at him. Well he smiled and threw what he was holding at me. Which happened to be his drink. Oops.

Back to School: Yesterday in Kempton Park we hosted a back to school party for our neighborhood kids. We were joined by New Hope Christian Fellowship (Va Beach) and they helped us set up, run the games, and clean up afterwards. We used the pool area and had registration, craft, photo area, games, snack and checkout which awarded prizes for "bridge bucks" that were won playing the games. The kids played the games and cashed in their bucks for really cool school supplies. We had great attendance despite the sweltering heat and all of the kids and parents had a great time. We made good contact with our neighbors and will be following up with this this week about The Bridge and how they can join us.



This is our photo area which our resident interior decorator, Kristina, decorated. It looks great!

Sunday: Sunday afternoon and it's almost 1. We hit the early service at one of my friend's church and we've been home more than 2 hours now. I'm preparing for my fantasy football draft tonight and throwing down a little blog entry.

Love: I been told twice this week that it's apparent how much I love God and the way I live seems to inspire others to desire a better relationship with Christ. I hope this confession is appropriate. I really do love God but honestly I'm not sure how much that matters. What matters is how much God loves me. I'm sure it's not a popular thought but sometimes I follow Christ out of obligation. That might not sound romantic, or lovely or even desirable but it's the truth. I do love God and there are times in my walk with him that I feel God but sometimes...like right now in my life, I don't feel very close to him. Nothing changed, no sin, not even apathy, I'm laboring for the gospel day in and day out and I don't feel God.

But I believe growth is developed in the valleys and the not feeling very close to God is one of the ways we experience the valley.

Prayer: Heather and I pray before every meal and that includes us holding hands across the table and praying for our food. Nathan normally gets quiet but doesn't pray and every now and again he'll want to hold hands with us.

Yesterday we were eating Chickfila at the mall and we prayed like normal. About halfway through the meal Nathan reached for both of our hands and he quickly bowed his head, shut his eyes real tight and said a few words. What he said we have no idea but he said his first prayer. Then for dinner he did it again. It's his new trick and it's funny as heck. He shuts his eyes real tight and says a few words. His prayers are about as long as mine, 2.5 seconds.

Friends: It's nice to hear from old friends, especially old friends that have been reading my blog. So shout out to Phil Horner- Press on!

Ask for Help: I'm not an ask for help person by nature, I'm assuming most guys aren't. But I've learned to ask for help. I mean for heavy lifting and moving I'm quick to ask for help but say audio set up or electronics "I got this yo". But I'm finding somethings are much quicker when you ask for help especially if you've never done it before. So just today I called up a friend from my old youth group who has experience in sound and he talked me through the set up process for the sound equipment I need to use tomorrow. Thanks Jon, baby huey, sloth, super sloth, super duper, you're the best!