Do I really believe it?: I'm preaching this sunday and got much of the writing of the sermon and the planning of the service done yesterday. It was an excellent day in the office where I felt incredibly productive for the first time in many many months. Then I left and went home about 4pm. When I got home the terrible feeling of questioning came over me. I must admit I don't feel that feeling too often, so when I do it is sickening. So I was grouchy all night to my wife, I'll have to remember to apologize to her tonight for that. But the questioning came with this question "Do you really believe what you are preaching on sunday?". Do you really believe that surrendering your life and life decisions and passion to the Holy Spirit is what is missing in people's lives? It's hard for a 25 year old man to get up in front of a group old enough to be his parent's and tell them what they need to do. But when it came down to it and I thought about it, the message is the next in the journey we need to be on as a church. Whether they accept is their perogative. I'm really not afrain of people's reactions. After all I'm just the jr. pastor, any mistakes I make are due to my youth *wink, wink*. I hope that I always have that attitude. I think that's what God wants of me. So yeah I believe what I'm preaching and how I'm going to preach it. To God be the praise!

Tyrant Pastor: I've mentioned before that I have had some moderate involvement with District Leadership and have served on district committees couple that with the fact that I know many people at churches within my denomination I hear alot of crap about pastors. Most of those pastors are my friends at worst they are my brothers in ministry. I have instilled in myself from the beginning of me working here that I will never stand idly by when something negative is being said about the character of my senior pastor and with that I also will not listen to character attacks on other pastors as well. So with that said it amazes me some of the pastors pull with their people. Really if I were a church goer I would not tolerate some of this stuff.