Vast Knowledge: I really thought that college would be the pinnacle of my learning experience. I’m not sure what kind of cheap crack I was smoking in college but I really thought I was a fart smeller, um…I mean smart feller. I guess I thought that would be it, I would learn those 16 years, 12 of public school and then 4 of college and I’d apply what I learned the rest of my life. Well that would have really been boring. I have learned so much in the past 4 years since getting out of college and I know that the learning has only just begun. It’s exciting to be growing; it’s exciting to learn applicable stuff.

Butt Crack: Hey girl in the bagel shop that sat two tables in front of me this morning. PULL YOUR PANTS UP no one, I repeat no one wants to see your butt crack.

Gross Coffee: Yesterday I was at a meeting and now bear in mind that I’m no coffee connoisseur but I do enjoy a good cup. Coupled with that fact and the fact that you don’t need to be a genius to know nasty coffee when you drink it. So yesterday I was at a meeting and thought a little java would be a nice treat so I poured myself a cup added the desired cream and sugar and went back to my seat at the table. I put the hot coffee to my lips and took a sip…ass coffee. Now I’m not kidding. It repulsed me. I really think that they took the water poured it over a big hairy ass and then put it in the coffee maker. I didn’t want to be rude because the coffee maker person was at the table so I thought I’d better drink it. So I did and loathed every minute of it. I almost yacked twice. Ass coffee, never recommended!